Save the Anda: A global concern
By Disha Gahlot
Ever thought of living life where you din't just exist in someone else's life like a meatloaf but you mattered, atleast for a moment only to disappear in the haze of nothingness! So, you decide to make the most out of that moment . You ask yourself if there's a better way to make a lasting impact and your bulb lightens up as you check out your profiles on social media. You want the moment to be viral, so you need to gather all your balls to do it.
You decide to post your story about proposing a girl with a ring hidden inside the anda where she gets both surprised and annoyed, so she throws it back at you and a ring comes out, somehow she finds it adorable and says yes! You feel on top of the world and post #savetheanda as they are useful as hell. Soon you realise that your hashtag goes viral and you have likes, comments and mentions like never before. You're loving all the attention as you never received much even when you were born. Now, you sort of want it to be a global movement like #Metoo, after all, who the fuck is really concerned with harassment when an anda is filled with hidden treasures.
Like it's said, you paint the world with own eyes. Here are a few ways in which people from different working sectors would hypothetically analyse #savetheanda having a vague-chinese- whisper-like-idea about the story but nevertheless-blood-soaked-quick-give-away-opinions! Check it out:
1) Self[-proclaimed social activists: Now it's become way more easier to fuck someone who doesn't exist in your territory and instead of simply asking, 'tune meri bhains ko anda kyu mara', you have a real opportunity to have sex with their bhains and make it all equal. After all, justice delayed is justice denied!
2) Medicos: First we need to know whether the anda actually belonged to the murgi or some other species, let us take the DNA samples and we will let you know the results soon.
3)Lawyers:There are different ways of throwing an anda; depending on the way in which it was thrown and the accumulation of evidence from the murgi, anda and the witness, we will be able to tell you which sections of the law have been violated.
4) Journalists: The SENSATIONAL NEWS of the year has been uncovered by our ONLY channel as we bring to you FIRST an 'anda' that just landed from Mars in the hands of our God. According to astrology, it signifies the rebirth of dinosaurs and we all are eagerly waiting for it to hatch. Stay with us for the latest updates, ONLY on Chutiya bana diya...fir se.
5)Engineers: ( waise to hume ghanta aata hai) It depends on the way in which the murgi was engineered to gave birth to the anda. (other engineers hug him for using the word 'engineered' to show how much they know.) Meanwhile, many IITians call it quits.
6)Entrepreneurs: Join our website and download our latest app, 'ANDABOOK' and we will empower you in unimaginable ways to not just save the anda but also become one! T&C apply** Free trial for the first 100 subscribers. Hurry up!
7) Moral vegetarians: Humare toh ghar mein anda aata nahi hai, the debate is baseless! ( Yeah, I just checked with the constitution, you have to be raped first to speak about injustice!)
8) Arnab Hoswami: (goes non-stop for few days..) and that's how you save the anda! (Sir, the debate ended 3 days back) Nevermind. So I was saying...
9) Bollywood actors: I'm an entertainer and I want to make sure that my statements are not misconstrued as political but #save the anda is cool, really cool. Keep it up guys. Next!
10)Roadies talent: Save the anda, nahi toh aayega teri g** mein danda. Teri maa ki**< BEHEN KI ** saala ** beep****beep****is ****the****beepbeep beep beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep.........
As opinions from the influential lot were being thrown on the desk, their perspectives reached a large-scale audience and the debate went on since other meaningless issues like corruption, development, health, education, women empowerment, tourism etc seemed bizarre! No wonder, India is growing at such a phenomenal rate, may be that's why we say, 'Incredible India'!
Truly incredible, isn't it?!
#AllIndiaBakchod #HindustanTimes #TakeItLightly #Sarcasm #Parody
By Disha Gahlot
Ever thought of living life where you din't just exist in someone else's life like a meatloaf but you mattered, atleast for a moment only to disappear in the haze of nothingness! So, you decide to make the most out of that moment . You ask yourself if there's a better way to make a lasting impact and your bulb lightens up as you check out your profiles on social media. You want the moment to be viral, so you need to gather all your balls to do it.
You decide to post your story about proposing a girl with a ring hidden inside the anda where she gets both surprised and annoyed, so she throws it back at you and a ring comes out, somehow she finds it adorable and says yes! You feel on top of the world and post #savetheanda as they are useful as hell. Soon you realise that your hashtag goes viral and you have likes, comments and mentions like never before. You're loving all the attention as you never received much even when you were born. Now, you sort of want it to be a global movement like #Metoo, after all, who the fuck is really concerned with harassment when an anda is filled with hidden treasures.
Like it's said, you paint the world with own eyes. Here are a few ways in which people from different working sectors would hypothetically analyse #savetheanda having a vague-chinese- whisper-like-idea about the story but nevertheless-blood-soaked-quick-give-away-opinions! Check it out:
1) Self[-proclaimed social activists: Now it's become way more easier to fuck someone who doesn't exist in your territory and instead of simply asking, 'tune meri bhains ko anda kyu mara', you have a real opportunity to have sex with their bhains and make it all equal. After all, justice delayed is justice denied!
2) Medicos: First we need to know whether the anda actually belonged to the murgi or some other species, let us take the DNA samples and we will let you know the results soon.
3)Lawyers:There are different ways of throwing an anda; depending on the way in which it was thrown and the accumulation of evidence from the murgi, anda and the witness, we will be able to tell you which sections of the law have been violated.
4) Journalists: The SENSATIONAL NEWS of the year has been uncovered by our ONLY channel as we bring to you FIRST an 'anda' that just landed from Mars in the hands of our God. According to astrology, it signifies the rebirth of dinosaurs and we all are eagerly waiting for it to hatch. Stay with us for the latest updates, ONLY on Chutiya bana diya...fir se.
5)Engineers: ( waise to hume ghanta aata hai) It depends on the way in which the murgi was engineered to gave birth to the anda. (other engineers hug him for using the word 'engineered' to show how much they know.) Meanwhile, many IITians call it quits.
6)Entrepreneurs: Join our website and download our latest app, 'ANDABOOK' and we will empower you in unimaginable ways to not just save the anda but also become one! T&C apply** Free trial for the first 100 subscribers. Hurry up!
7) Moral vegetarians: Humare toh ghar mein anda aata nahi hai, the debate is baseless! ( Yeah, I just checked with the constitution, you have to be raped first to speak about injustice!)
8) Arnab Hoswami: (goes non-stop for few days..) and that's how you save the anda! (Sir, the debate ended 3 days back) Nevermind. So I was saying...
9) Bollywood actors: I'm an entertainer and I want to make sure that my statements are not misconstrued as political but #save the anda is cool, really cool. Keep it up guys. Next!
10)Roadies talent: Save the anda, nahi toh aayega teri g** mein danda. Teri maa ki**< BEHEN KI ** saala ** beep****beep****is ****the****beepbeep beep beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep.........
As opinions from the influential lot were being thrown on the desk, their perspectives reached a large-scale audience and the debate went on since other meaningless issues like corruption, development, health, education, women empowerment, tourism etc seemed bizarre! No wonder, India is growing at such a phenomenal rate, may be that's why we say, 'Incredible India'!
Truly incredible, isn't it?!
#AllIndiaBakchod #HindustanTimes #TakeItLightly #Sarcasm #Parody
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